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But other than the grapes and the yoghurt, there's something very special about Sundays...and for some reason, I breathe easier on Sundays.
Sabbath! If you don't already know, commemorates the day after God created Man and also the day He rested and admired all that He had created. He laid back and saw that it was very good ((:
By the Seventh day, God had finished the work He had been doing; so on the seventh day He rested from all his work. And God blessed the Seventh day and made it hly, because on it He rested from all the work of creating that He had done.
In the past, I was taught that on the Seventh day - Sunday, we rest! So I did just that in my early childhood. I would laze at home and sleep, eat, laugh, play, eat and then sleep. My Sundays were more like time lapses where if you asked me how my Sunday went, I'd just grunt a reply. Then as I grew up, I started to question, "But if God RESTED on that day, why do we call it the 7 days of Creation?". Then as I went on to Speedlight and then Main service in church, I finally found the answer.
Then the Lord said to Moses, "Say to the Israelites, You must observe My Sabbaths. This will be a sign between me and you for the generations to come, so you may know that I am the Lord, who makes you holy. ... Whoever does any work on the Sabbath day must be put to death. The Israelites are to observe the Sabbath, celebrating it for the generations to come as a lasting covenant.
Wow. That's pretty harsh, huh? God had initially commanded that all who do not observe the Sabbath must be put to death, decapitated, put away, taken down, rubbed out etc. I hadn't understood that Sunday is a day of celebratory commemoration. It is the day we are to thank God and spend time appreciating all that He had created; including you and me. So all this while, He hadn't wanted me to sleep or play with the computer all day. He wanted me to quieten down my raging heart and spend some time talking to Him - be it about the weather, my sorrows or joy or even the next-door neighbour. This beautiful day is the day we're supposed to remember God and the mighty works He did. And to 'rest in the Lord' is to commit your time to learning about and talking to God ^^
And indeed what a mighty God we serve! He is so magnanimous in giving us Life and to not kill us for not observing the Sabbath like He told us to. Come, let us set at least 10 minutes to talk to God now and thank Him for today ^^ Be it the Sabbath or not. Then let us make an effort to observe the next Sabbath! I'm sure our Mighty Creator will appreciate the effort ((:
God bless~
To sum everything up, I am still teaching at Crescent now and going to leave soon and will miss all my fantastic students T_T. I'm still waiting for NUS to reply about my Uni Applications, but have been accepted to NTU. I still attend Bible Study on Tuesdays with Liz and her awesome Mom (: And now I'm dancing for a major event in June! My family is still supercalifragilistically awesome (love my Dad, Mom and Carren ((: ) and I am still happily and contentedly attached to Ed. Hee ((:
But recently, I fell ill.
Recently I've been so busy that I neglected the one person closest to me - myself. Before I knew it, I was down and out with the flu on Saturday. Just a normal flu. Not swine flu or bird flu. Just flu. Needless to say, I went for Miracle Service on Saturday anyway (: It was like going to the doctor's anyway. I felt much better at the service, went home, ate two panadol pills and went to bed. The next morning I woke up feeling dandy! Church was awesome and then after we went back home after dropping Ed at his house. That night we had dinner together as a family with Ed.
But that night, I fell ill again. And it felt like I was dying.
Monday came and my parents refused to let me go to school. They would have kicked me back home anyway. Now I'm here at Ed's house, having gone through a terrible headache.
I remember the two times I felt like dying throughout this 'ordeal' and I was wondering why God hadn't healed me. Was I not zealous enough about claiming my healing? Did I not believe enough? Or was God trying to tell me something? I think... it was a bit of all of that.
Through this entire 3 days of being a flu zombie, I had the utmost privillege of a loving boyfriend sitting by my bedside waiting for me to wake up, giggling at every sneeze and handing me tonnes of panadol when I needed it. Every ten minutes or so he would lean over and ask, "Are you okay?" and then smile when I gave a weak nod. I felt most comforted with him around, although he recently crushed his middle finger on a tank round. And most of all, I saw the Lord's spirit of patience and love shine through his every action, word and smile (: I thought to myself, "I think I know what an angel looks like now."
He wasn't the only angel around, of course. My Mom, Dad and Carren inquired relentlessly about my condition and took the step to entrust Ed with my safety and well-being. Mom cooked awesome home-cooked food and my eing. Mom cooked awesome home-cooked food and my Dad made sure I didn't stay up late. Carren expressed her concern in checking in on me periodically and giving me the most encouraging smiles when I needed them most (:
Just a while back, lying in bed, I remember pleading with God to heal me and heal me quick.
"I feel so helpless and I wanna do something. I'm tired of just slinking off to bed when there's so much to be done. God, please help me. Forgive me for all the wrong things I did and bring me back to Your graces...
...I don't want to die."
Yeaah, I know its impossible to die from a simple influenza... but it really did feel like I was slipping away. Or maybe it wasn't my physical being that was in trouble... I guess the real thing that was slipping away was my connection with God. I have a real bad tendency of doing that.
This is a lesson that I've learnt before and I'm going to learn again. This one, I want to share with you too ((: I've learnt that in this time, we are all as helpless as a young girl/boy bed-bound with a bad case of the runny nose and fever. The missing link? ...Is trusting in God for everything. The moment I cried and left it in His hands, a beautiful moment of peace swept over me and I finally sat up to the most beautiful sunset I've laid my eyes on thus far this week. And I am still looking at it now ((: It was a peace that no amount of Panadol could provide, no hug or smile of Ed's could supply, no amount of care and concern my family could give - The Lord's comfort supercedes all worldly things. And yet, it also comes shining brightly through the actions and words of your loved ones ^^
"The sun will no more be your light by day,
nor will the brightness of the moon shine on you.
For the Lord will be your everlasting light.
And your God will be your glory.
Your Sun will never set again,
and your moon will wane no more,
The lord will be your everlasting light,
and your days of sorrow will end." - Isaiah 60:19-20
I hope you'll let go of your worldly dependence too (:
Let go. Let God ^^
Now if you don't mind me, I'm going to blow my nose.
I think its breaking (No Ed, not because of you XD)
...and I need to say this. I've just had a 'loaded' evening. You see, the doorbell rang at 10 pm tonight. I looked beyond the frontgates and saw my Dad's sister standing there with my (very angelic) cousin. I knew they had come to see the house. Just at that moment, I felt a bout of bitterness rising up within me. Quickly, I grabbed my bags and dashed upstairs to hide inside my room.
I can't tell you exactly what's going down. Those of you who have noticed the frowning-lines on my face, you would have known by now what's happening. To cut things short, I'm being very selfish about extending my arms in welcome - they're locked by my sides akimbo. The moment I gave my aunt a fake smile, I knew exactly the depths of my humanity - I am one selfish b[insert remaining letters as seen fit].
That was the verse that arrested me... to love and share with your LIFE. Paul learnt through Jesus to love unconditionally. That very same precept was and is still preached to us till this very day. I think this is the time for me to exercise that kind of love - God's unbiased love; the very same kind that Jesus's apostles had come to adopt and keep... To accept and to welcome ______ with open arms (: I realised that I've been very blessed these few days ^^ God gave me time to catch up with my girls from Crescent and from ACJC... to hang out with the guys too; and of course, I found the guy of my dreams ^^ (literally) I've been so blessed, I CAN"T CONTAIN IT. It MUST be shared! Sure, my selfish part is reluctant to allow _______ to just enter into our lives... but tonight, that part of me has died and I will take up my cross once more.
Dear God,
This is my prayer tonight. Please help me to love ______ as You do, Lord - unbiasedly and unconditionally. Oh God, help me to break through my selfishness and truly take one step closer to be like You Lord. Let me treat _____ just like a sister and give her love just as You would if You were in my place, dear Jesus. Its just so funny God... I've always thought it was easy to love and here I am not being able to love as You do. Now I see the true depths of Your affections for Mankind and I am truly grateful that Your love extends so far. My eyes have been opened wide and I am renewed tonight, oh Lord (: Thank You, for this valuable lesson that I've come to learn the hard way and will continue to learn from it.
Thank You again and again for the people You have already put around me... Daddy, Mommy, Carren, my relatives, my awesome Crescent gal-pals (Milu, Yifang, Kaili, Sandra, Tess, Reinnie, Chloe, 1/2C2, 3/4G3, Council, ELDDS), my fantastic ACJC buddies (Liz, Amanda, Mren, Eleanor, Silk, Estelle, Hope, CF, ACSian... etc.), my FUHUA mates ((: (1G, 2G, 3G, 4F, 5C and OF COURSE 6A), my supercalifragilistically cute students at Crescent and most indubiously -ahem- ED. I have so many people to mention, I can't even begin for fear I wouldn't stop. But Lord, You know each and every one of them personally. Please keep them safe and snug in their beds at night, with Your love pulsing through their veins and Your blessings pouring on them heavier than the monsoons could ever bring to Singapore in an eternity. I pray that they will wake up to a brilliant smile, a song in their heart and Your mighty hand upon them in grace and mercy ^^ THANK YOU LORD. I LOVE YOU.
In the Lord's most mighty name we pray,
AMEN! =DDD
P.S. Did you know David said 'love' 157 times in the book of Psalms alone? XP
Nowadays means Ed's in camp again T_T boohoo.
I just read YH's blog again (: That amazingly titillating guy and his bombastic words... never fails to amaze me with his deep thought and messages from the soul (: YH, if you're reading this, yes I did use 'titillating' to describe you X) But who would have known what you were thinking of, YH? You have a beautiful soul ^^ ... not considering the time you linked arms with WJ (:
My days have been passing by like wisps of clouds. They are swept away by the winds and before you know it, long gone from sight. All they leave behind are the memories and the resonance of your heart strings twanging (:
I could really get used to this! Work is awesome with the kids being so supportive and enthusiastic (That means you, my dear 3C1, 3C2, 3C3, 3S1 and 3G2 babies (:) (: Carol, Kevin, NiNi, Marcus, Wei Yi, Mag, Felicia, Mas, Yvonne, Penny... all the teachers are so awe-inspiring and encouraging (: Every morning Carol and I 'bring in the daily catch' by trading sandwiches, snacks and smiles XD Kevin supplements my exercise regime with basketball shooting sessions and attempting to pull me to go rock-climbing. Marcus, Wei Yi and Mag never fail to make me laugh with their crazy antics and constantly teasing me about my height and -ahemEdahem-.
Weekends are basically 'Ed Days' XD Ed, my brother in Christ, world dominion partner, lover and soul-sista X)) I love how we don't keep anything from each other X) And you're right (: Its nice leaving everything in His hands. I love spending time with your family, especially singing weird songs with chipmunk voices together with Ervin (: I really really really really want to break with you one day!
But how could all of this been possible without the loving touch of God? (: Stupid me has been neglecting God though... always putting materialistic things first. Dear God, forgive this silly little midget and set my eyes on the heavenly prize again (: I want to bear in mind that I run for You alone and no one else (: Not even for myself. And in You, I'll live again (:
Thank you ^^
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, so that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life (:
That is the world's shortest but greatest love story contained right there ^^ Such sacrifice! Such originality! Such ... such... love (:
In the Nuremburg Chronicles, it speaks of a Roman priest by the name of Valentine that married young men to their beloved in secret. This was in a time when Emperor Claudius had decreed that all young men were to remain single. Without doubt or second thought, St. Valentine conducted the secret marriages and was soon caught and prosecuted. When brought before the Emperor, Valentine struck Claudius as an extremely intelligent and eloquent young man... until Valentine tried to convert Claudius to Christianity. Enraged, he ordered that Valentine be executed. During his incarceration leading up to his execution, Valentine made steadfast friends with his jailer and his blind, young daughter. It wasn't long before Valentine had fallen in love with the young, spritely girl. The day he was dragged out to be beheaded, he laid his hands on her eyes and lo and behold! She could see!... at the moment they executed him. Depressed and worn with grief, she retreated to her room only to find a bloodstained letter of confession and passion on her bed signed, "From your Valentine".
That was the story of Valentine's Day, in case you didn't know (: I tried to tell it as dramatically as I can, but the real event must have been twice or four times as moving as the legend is. If it was real...
I know one love story in the Bible that's real for sure ((: I bet you didn't know... hidden in HOSEA is a story very much like Valentine's story of sacrifice (:
Hosea 3:2
So I bought her to me for fifteen pieces of silver and for a homer of barley, and a half homer of barley.
In Hosea's time, God told him to marry a harlot X) But he did love Gomer with such a passion that when she ran away to be an adulteress again, he actually waited a few decades and still bought her back with the precious little he had (in other words, everything he owned) and continued to love her all the days of his Godtastic life (:
I think it is pretty obvious what the linking element between the two love stories are (: - SACRIFICE.
I mean, no one ever said love was going to be easy, right? Dad always said, "You have to WORK in a relationship!". Mom used to say, "The devil doesn't let love get away easily!" And in a sense, it seems that way (nudges MUD). But with God's approval on your side, nothing can get a couple down (: But I digress. That is human love.
"What greater show of love on earth can be found, save the blood and tears shed on the crude cross on Calvary. There he hung, hoisted high for every living soul to see. What a scene it must have been... His opposers slowly slipped into an infernal eternity, while the hearts broken by his sacrifice laid open and screaming for vindication. Never again would human eyes be laid on such pure, unadulterated love ever again." - me, in the last 5 mintues XD
Infinitely greater is the love story of God and his love-hate relationship with us ( He loves us, yet we hate him). And like many love stories, it is directly linked to the most epic of battles in the name of love. Indeed, the very same love-war story takes place today. With God doing all the loving and warring X)
But the best part is, He doesn't mind (: And He continues to fight.
He continues to love.
He continues to smile at you in the morning.
He continues to whisper goodnight with the midnight breeze.
Like the lovers we read about during the greatest love stories, they make a monumental sacrifice that captures every reader's heart. Afterall, as Mom used to say, "If you love somebody enough, nothing else on the Earth matters." But who would know that God would sacrifice the only thing He loved more than us? He sent his dearest Son to the cross to die for our sins and fight an epic battle in hell. He wrent the cloth over the Holy of Holies into two that ALL may enter boldly into the presence of the Lord~
If that isn't enough, consider the fact that God doesn't love perfect people... we're all flawed and ugly; both on the inside and outside. Its something to love someone who's lovable and good-looking. But God loves ugly, annoying humans on a daily basis O.O Hallellujah for that ((:
I quote from the daily Bible message function on Yuan Hao's blog:
1 John 4:10
This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
Amen! (:
Happy Valentine's Day everybody!
Happy Valentine's Day God (:
I am now consciously telling myself to be careful with what I post because -cough- apparently some of my Geography students have found themselves the doorway to my livejournal! -pokes the students reading this now- ...
[insert meaningful pause]
But as far as it goes, its not going to change (: I like to share my thoughts with everyone, students or not. In fact, I'd love to share my thoughts with the people I see at least 5 times a week! Hey guys, or rather, gals, the next time you comment, leave your blog address too! -ahem- as your (reigning) geography teacher, I think I have a right to dabble in your mind-space too! We'll analyse each other and then compare notes at the end (:
Back to the little things (:
John 3:16 (I'm sure everyone knows this one~)
John 3:16 is considered, to some, one of the simplest and most well-known verses. Or at least that's what most of my friends say X) Even non-Christian friends know what the verse is about! But at times, you must agree, that the simplest things are the things that get to your heart. I was just checking Biblegateway.com for the daily verse and it so happened to be John 3:16. For some reason, a felt a warmth in my heart - like God telling you something important. Then I realised that this was truly the message-of-the-day and will be all eternity; the solid fact that God's love is so great and encompassing, that even your sins cannot get in the way of Him loving you.
I could name all the small details in life that gets your heart fluttering, but that would probably take up all my future entries, so I'm just going to identify a few XDD well... the ones that gets my heart going anyway ^^
1. Getting an encouragement from someone whom you don't know very well.
2. When Mom cooks on Saturday morning and you wake up to the sound of sizzling bacon and the aroma of freshly poached eggs.
3. A hug (: from someone you know preferably X)
4. A NICE smile from a stranger.
5. (For those with a loved one) When he tries to hold your hand. Or he scoots a little closer to you.
6. The smell of fresh grass on a brilliantly sunshiny day.
7. Taking time to appreciate your finished work.
8. Making someone laugh or smile intently.
9. Getting something in the mail (apart from bills)
10. Being nuzzled by an (docile) animal. (CAMPBELL)
And of course...
11. Reading a good Bible verse (:
I don't know about you, but those are the top things that gets me all tingly and loving life more (: I think the 'stop-and-smell-the-roses' idea is one of the most ingenious ideas ever conceived X) We DO need to stop once in a while and see for ourselves that as intolerable life can get in terms of work, our blessings heavily outweigh the pain. I myself haven't found many chances to do that. But I guess when we finally do, we'll see how beautiful life is and see the gift of life through His eyes.
Love!
P.S. Happy Valentine's Day everyone!
I really am >.<
I just realised how much as been loaded onto my plate approximately 5 minutes ago. But like I tell my students, "Let's break it down, shall we?"
1. [ A LEVEL RESULTS ] A lot of people, especially uncle and aunty (nudges Carol) has been asking about my A level results XD And honestly saying, I'm afraid my grades wouldn't be up to standard. I really do fear standing there in our ACJC hall and staring blankly at my results slip with tears of sorrow and regret brimming in my eyes. It doesn't sound like much, but its one of those make-or-break moments, where either way can determine how drastic your life will change, or how much more deranged you become. My fear got so bad that I started to understand why some children can commit suicide over their results. MOE is only going to announce the release of results the day before the actual distribution. I really don't know if that was a humanitarian move or utterly cruel. Right now, its leaning towards the 'cruel' side, because I'm almost worried sick about it.
2. [ BEING A TEACHER ] Okay. Being a teacher isn't so daunting (: But being a GOOD teacher is. A student was asking me questions online and I realised that I got more than a few things screwed up. Melvin had to WALK ME THROUGH the answer scheme to ensure I knew how to mark the papers. Turns out, I'm too lenient. I started out with the ideal that I want to see all the students I teach get As. I know most of it depends on the student herself, but a teacher has the power to influence her students - both in good and bad ways. My heart sank a little as I collected the class test today, because they all looked so despondent... I was doubting that I was a good teacher.
3. [ WORK PILE ] The last time I counted my work load pile, I had 1 graded assignment to mark, 1 class test to mark, 1 giant project... not to mention poor Namita is MIA for 6 weeks and so I have another subject to think for now X.X I have a few external tasks to settle too, like the shirts and artwork for Mom.
4. [ UNIVERSITY ] Where am I going? What am I going to do? Who do I run to? How am I getting there? When am I going to do it? ... enough said.
Altogether, the 4... erm... things, have constituted and amounted to this huge Mount Everest-ques load on my shoulders. But as much as I have been plagued by such daunting developments, God hasn't allowed me to feel too bad about it at all. Dearest God pointed me to 1 Peter 1:13 -
That calmed me quite a bit ((: Oh! I just remembered, Hebrews 10:23-
So INDEED! As long as we continue to be receptive to God's voice and study according to HIS needs, He'll definitely not put us to shame. He will not let us down ^^ So let us pick up our faith, drop our worries, dump the weight (or universe) off your shoulder and pick up our cross ((:
FEAR NOTHING BUT FEAR AND GOD! =DDD
He will do the rest ^^
The Prodigal Son
11 And He said, “A man had two sons. 12 “The younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of the estate that falls to me.’ So he divided his wealth between them. 13 “And not many days later, the younger son gathered everything together and went on a journey into a distant country, and there he squandered his estate with loose living. 14 “Now when he had spent everything, a severe famine occurred in that country, and he began to be impoverished. 15 “So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. 16 “And he would have gladly filled his stomach with the pods that the swine were eating, and no one was giving anything to him. 17 “But when he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men have more than enough bread, but I am dying here with hunger! 18 ‘I will get up and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in your sight; 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me as one of your hired men.”’ 20 “So he got up and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. 21 “And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22 “But the father said to his slaves, ‘Quickly bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet; 23 and bring the fattened calf, kill it, and let us eat and celebrate; 24 for this son of mine was dead and has come to life again; he was lost and has been found.’ And they began to celebrate.
25 “Now his older son was in the field, and when he came and approached the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 “And he summoned one of the servants and began inquiring what these things could be. 27 “And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has received him back safe and sound.’ 28 “But he became angry and was not willing to go in; and his father came out and began pleading with him. 29 “But he answered and said to his father, ‘Look! For so many years I have been serving you and I have never neglected a command of yours; and yet you have never given me a young goat, so that I might celebrate with my friends; 30 but when this son of yours came, who has devoured your wealth with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him.’ 31 “And he said to him, ‘Son, you have always been with me, and all that is mine is yours. 32 ‘But we had to celebrate and rejoice, for this brother of yours was dead and has begun to live, and was lost and has been found.’”
Like what Mom used to say, "Its an oldie, but goodie." For many, like me, the Prodigal Son story represents a time of hope and forgiveness. The wise old Father represents our very own heavenly King and we, the extravagant ones. Of course, there are those who are already very spiritual. They represent the older brother.
Once upon a time, I had been so terribly disgusted with myself. In a land far, far away, I had been disgusted with other people. So there I was, playing the role of the Prodigal Son and the Big Brother. I wondered at first how God could love a sinner like me, and I wondered about how others had sinned so much more than I and how God could love them. But that was such a long time ago.... reading this paragraph in that book reminded me again exactly why. Jesus had told that parable to the Pharisees not to highlight that weakness of Man in Greed and Envy. But to highlight God's Love - that which knows no boundaries, face or creed. It is unbiased, it is non-exclusive. It is free ((:
I bet a few of us now are standing in that pig pen going, "What the heck am I doing? Maybe I should go back to God." Well, RUN BACK dearie! (: All that's waiting for you at the end of that long, dreary road is a pair of open arms, love and freedom.
- Matthew 6:19-21
I saw that on Yuan Hao's blog and Biblegateway.com. I think God is trying to tell me something (: I guess another way you can look at the story of the Prodigal Son is that the Prodigal son had banked everything into fulfilling his desires materialistically. One, just one, terrible famine took everything away in a blink of an eye. Similarly, on Earth, what we possess or claim to possess is vulnerable to the elements, if not, to humans. How horrifying it would be to go to Heaven and found that your cheque for entry into Heaven bounced because you didn't deposit anything in your Heaven Bank account... The verse spoke strongly to me, telling me to drop everything I own here on Earth. I mean, you should put effort into fulfilling earthly duties and several materialistic tasks and surely God will help you. But the bulk of your focus should be centered upon that heavenly bank account, I feel. So that eventually when your room decor goes out of style, you can also switch it for clouds, gold, diamonds, crystals and spiritual love to go with your curtains (:
Love,
Sharyl.
I admit.
I'm at a loss for words.
All I can and could come up for it all day was 'weird'.
But it really is nice that you understand ^^
Dear friend,
Have you ever wanted something so badly and then to your delight its almost being thrust into your arms (at least it appears so)? There is no greater joy, I have found out these few days, than to have your desires in-line with God (: And there has been no greater joy than these few days because it has been as such. I must give great thanks to my godly friends for without them, I would have been clueless about listening to God's voice and watching out for the signs He gives. Most importantly, I've learnt to really trust in His divine power and magnanimousness. And Edmund was right to say we should learn to put Him first in our lives no matter how important the runner-up is ^^ What task He has given to us to complete, He will surely provide for. That is why the fishers of men threw down their nets and took nothing with them to follow Jesus. But even as I have not given up everything, He has generously given me blessing after blessing and that, I would be eternally grateful for (: Thank you Lord. As hard as it to keep one idol on this earth, let us all strive to make YOU the ultimate and the only one (: Father, Brother, Lover, Friend.
You know I'll gladly get sauce all over my favourite jacket for you XD. Its nice having you read my mind (:
:soft, sticky matter resulting from the mixing of earth and water.
When you fall down in some mud, it not only gets all over your clothes, your face and not to mention, your wounds. It irritates and makes you scratch around when its dry >.< Not to mention, its full of germs and microbes that you don't want wriggling in your flesh or in any orifice for that matter. But why is it women and children put it on their faces - be it for therapy or just making new friends in the sandbox? (:
The answer can't be just felt when you slap it on your face, or tasted when your child-like fingers dribble it into your mouth X)) The beauty of mud, no matter the outlook, is what is inside. Uh oh! Cliche time! But its true! The people of India slap on mud from the Ganges because the healing waters of the Ganges runs through the mud and is trusted to heal all ailments. Dead Sea Mud is being sold because of the mineral salts trapped in the precious dirt. Once upon a time, Jesus used mud; just ordinary mud, to cover a blind man's eyes and returned his vision to him (: And that was when the power of God was running through the mud.
John 9:1-25
I guess what I am trying to say is that we are all like mud. We start off flexible and accommodating to the type of 'water' that flows through our veins. When the ways of the world flows through ours, we are materialistic and calculative. When the ways of God become our source, we change our perspective towards the eternal, don't you think? On our own, we are useless; formless. But with the skilled hands of a Master Craftsman and his expertise, a lowly clod of mud is quickly turned into a priceless pot ready to be tested by fire and painted. Then the mud becomes strong, hardened, useful and formidable in comparison to the smile, plastic pots (or to the delicate skull of an aggressive intruder). We may be useless when it we first look at ourselves... but in the careful guidance of the Lord, we WILL become more than we can ever imagine ourselves to be (: All we have to do, is to stay as mud and be moldable (: On top of that, we must make sure that we give him full control. Amen? ((:
MUD is good!
( For MUD )
It goes without saying, 2008 is the year we (as in the graduating cohort) did and survived our A levels! -does the happy chicken dance to taunt the J1s- We finally got our lives back on track. But ironically, after the last paper, many of us got lost. You can't blame us really, we were studying for 20 months and suddenly, the calling to study is taken away from us. Abruptly. Well, many of us (like me) took a few days to 'abstain' from the books. I remember still reading my Bio textbook as though there was going to be a test the next day. That was hilarious X)) But I finally succumbed to the encroaching freedom and crashed at 11.30. Little did I know that was going to be earliest I'd be sleeping for the next few weeks/months. I M SIRIUS. (Note the wrong spelling ((: )
This year was also the year I took the ultimate risk and participate in Odyssey of the Mind. I don't know about my studies, but I do know is that I don't regret that move one bit. I met 5 very different people and found out that opposites DO attract. Well... except for Yi Loong, I'd bet X) (No offence, NYL)
I will spare thee the long commentary on what happened this year. And fastforward to these few weeks (: Its funny how its only when you reach the end of the holiday that meaningful things happen. At times I don't know if its the Devil's snare or GOD's final gift before going back to slogging. Waitaminute, you say, aren't you free already? WELL. I'm now a geography teacher at Crescent! [insert applause from you]. I bet you're laughing and thinking, "AHHAHAHA! A short geog teacher! Pitting against Sec 3s!". If I'm right, watch yourself tonight >3 I WILL find you. But yes, I will pushing Sec 3s around next year. Or rather, they'll be pushing me around. But that's not the point.
Just a few days ago, in fact, specifically on the 24th, my parents went away on a trip to Taiwan. I was worried about their safety and all. But slowly, it started to seep into my mind that we had the whole house to ourselves... You see, my mind takes a while to process the word 'FREEDOM'. I admit! I slept over at my friends' house TWICE! So Mom, if you ever see this, forgive me! But it was a chance in a lifetime to sleep over (: And I did! The whole 6 days has been all about friends very much, of which I think the reunion with my PRIMARY SCHOOL mates was most awesome. All the girls are prettier and the guys are... er. Unrecognisable XDD In a good way of course (: We spent the whole night talking about our past in Fuhua and realised there were many juicy details we've forgotten. We went to Kelvin's place after that. But I will elaborate later.
THE PRESENT
Before that, I had an awesome time eating Teppanyaki at Milu's house with my most awesome-nest gal-pals - Kaili, Sandra, Yifang and Tess and Sandra's cousin Risa. We ate and played, played and ate... As much as we had mindless fun, halfway through the second round of mahjong and I looked around at each smiling face and I realized how much I was starting to miss them. But above that, I realised how much I loved each smiling face (: Before I knew it, I was looking past the smile and into their hearts; remembering all the good times we've had. Every moment has been a positive with these gals, with or without tears (: So... MILU, TESS, SANDRA, KAILI, YIFANG, CHLOE and REINNIE, with all my pint-sized midget heart and all of my soul, I love you guys ((: and will love you more every single day. I mean every word!
Also in my present are 2SD1 and more so, the Eccentrics LIZ, MERANDA, FEI MAO, ELEANOR, ESTELLE, SILK, PEISH, JANO, ROXANNE (KANG AND TOH), MILTON, MARK CHENG, HOPE, EUGENE. and CF: JACK, YI HUI, MELANIE (my beloved), VIGNETTE, HELSA, SKYLER, ELIZABETH TAY, DILLON TAY, ISSAC CHRISTIAN WONG and all the J1s! . People used to tell me that Junior College is the time to make friends. and I have always thought 'pish posh. 2 years are too short." Oh how glad I am for you to prove me wrong (: I am sticking to you guys like glue long after we've gone our different ways, that I am for sure. You guys have become such an essential part of my life and you are very much like my oxygen. Thank you for filling my life with ... er... LIFE XDD hahaha. You make living worthwhile (:
THE PAST
Well, I went to Kelvin's house after buying socks for Carren (Carren, your thank you comes at the end.) That was at about 10.45pm. Hahaha. The latest I have EVER been on my way out. When I finally reached Kel's, the first thing that happened was Kelvin shoving a plastic cup of something into my hands and gruffly telling me to drink it. Be comforted, for Sharyl is rational. I asked what it was before drinking a sip. He told me "Cranberry Juice". ... my foot. Okay, so it WAS cranberry juice. But he conveniently forgot to add that it was infused with VODKA. I held back the urge to kill Kelvin and went to play pool with YVONNE, EDMUND and YING ZHI while the rest (LIU YI, HASAN, CUI LIN, CELESTINE, KELVIN, KENNETH) played Rock Band. Gradually, we all realised none of us could sing X)) But then again, it could and probably was the vodka. By 12, most of the girls except Yvonne and me were gone. I don't remember much about that night except a lot of screeching, laughing, appeasing Fudge (Kelvin's adorweeble cat), talking to Edmund and conspiring with Yvonne X))) Yvonne, we're getting rusty. Let's conspire more (: But one feeling I felt that was distinctive and clear - I HAD A TON OF FUN. That includes attempting to play Dead Space and waking up Hasan the next day XDD Please refer to Facebook for the photos. Blackmail at your own risk >3
6A COMRADES As far as 6 years go, they aren't enough to separate us enough to stop us from having a totally awesome time (: Thanks for letting me back so abruptly into your lives! However short it has been, thanks for the awesome night and that one best year of my life (: That means you too, MRS SANDIRAN
THE FUTURE
I was (surprisingly) invited to Ed's random party. As random and awesome as the party was, the only thing I can remember (after the 4 shots of tequila), is making new friends (: The whole BBQ was amazingly fun though! And of course, how can I forget the satisfaction of fragging Ervin in Halo 3? X)) So: EDMUND, ERVIN, VICTORIA, CHRISTINA, SONG, YUAN HAO, SHARRY, JOANNA, SHAWN, GLENN, CAROL (yes. Carol Wong was there (:) and of course, Carren's friends, JUNMING, ALEKS, JOHN, JAMES, MARCUS, JOANNA, WAI TENG, YAN TING, You guys mark the incoming new age (: Thanks for warming up to me so quickly! You guys remind me that the future is brighter than I will ever concede to. You know how spring is heralded by the chirping of birds and the bright sunshine? Your voices will make more of a symphony than anything any composer can create and your smiles are brighter than novas (: Peace be unto you new friends ^^
THE FOREVER
To MOM, DAD and CARREN, you have been the roots to my tree, the seeds to my chilli padi, my ... er... you get the idea (: Bottom line is, thank you so much for being there for me and showing me the light when I needed it most. I know we don't see each other very often... but when we do, you never fail to make me smile (: You make me see the brighter side of life. Family first, they say. I agree. For now and forever ^^ Especially Carren! I really enjoyed our bonding time (: You ROCK. There isn't anything else that must be said between us, babe. You ROCK.
To GOD
My redeemer, saviour, friend, brother, father and master. No matter how many times I've forgotten to tell You I love YOu, You always take the initiative to show me how much You love me. And I re-interate 'SHOW'. It inspires me to show You too. You're the one who inspired me to let my seat to another. You're the one who brings out the smile every morning and wipes away my tears every night. You're the one who caught me when I was falling and lifted me to my feet. You're the one, God. You're the one. And so now, with all my heart and in front of the entire international blog community, I LOVE YOU GOD! and I will praise You forever! Not because I need to repay a debt or for my own pleasure. For once God, it is entirely YOU. Into the new year I tread, unafraid, because You are with me. Your staff and rod comfort me ^^ Amen!
To all:
Happy New Year people, whoever and wherever you may be ((: May the good Lord's light shine into your lives, that your paths may be set straight and clear. Take care everyone! and God bless!
Besides its sweetness, under all the juiciness and all, the real association of the cranberry to Christmas is really hidden in a generalized idea! - "Christmas Cheer". The wholesome taste of the cranberry and its unique taste sort of locks you in a isolated moment of bliss; away from your normal-day troubles. Because for a second there, you thought you'd found gastronomical heaven. But of course, the urge to take another bite pulls you back to earth. That's Christmas bliss (: - the feeling that nothing materialistic in the world matters and you'd gladly give up your big CEO job for a 4-tier platter of jam cookies and a cup of rose tea by the Lake District scenery, *gasp* with your favourite office assistant -winkwinknudgenudge-.
As nonsensical as it sounds, I feel that's the attitude we need to adopt in life. To live as if the world meant nothing to you and you were just passing through (: Isn't that what God said? And that means not skimping on an extra 5 dollars to buy a 50-dollar gift for a best friend! That means not harbouring anger or sadness when our boyfriends/girlfriends break it off (they didn't deserve you in the first place XDD). But that doesn't mean living life mediocrely (like a bum. Whoops! Bum discrimination.. sorry...) neither!
Personally, our life here on earth should be like a vacation. You're here to have fun with God (: Living in that perspective means appreciating and striving for what is good (: To not relent when energy expenditure is needed. At the same time, we shouldn't be too hung up over things we lose. Because they technically didn't belong to us in the first place!
I wasn't too good at that today... I got very angry at a friend today because, well, I reckon his behaviour being very expedient. When he said I looked weird, I knew in my heart that he was being, well, himself again. But an inexplicable frustration rose within me and I blocked him. Yes. I blocked him. Because as much as I knew he was joking, it hurt. There were many times he hurt me with his words. But I tried not to care. God told me I shouldn't be angry... So I had a hard time trying to suppress the H word (y'know... H*TE). In the end, I bit my lip and wrote 'That hurt. Goodnight.' And I left it as it was... Liz told me, "It'll go away". I sure hope so O.O and yes, Sharyl DOES get angry sometimes, yeah? And I DO cry because of thoughtless actions. I understand its vice versa. It really re-defines the age-old warning 'Watch where you're going'. Otherwise, someone will get hurt.
As much as anger is a consuming fire, forgiveness can be equally consuming! So much so that it will overwhelm the hate (: Amen to that. I can't really forgive that friend... but I'm learning to (: So this Christmas, let's stick to living like travellers in this materialistic world... and forgive that person gnawing away at the back of your mind (: Put straightforwardly: Grow up and Move on.
I went out with my sister today (: And it was a tremendous amount of fun no matter how little a time we actually spent outside. We bought all the Christmas gifts we wanted to buy though! So that's a good thing (: All in all, we spent exactly one and half hours. I know to several guys this isn't very impressive (considering that most guys just buy the first thing they see suitable. Tsk.), but you have to realize for girls, this is really quite remarkable!
But that's not the point XP
The point is, I really appreciated the fact that my sister took time off to spend time gift-hunting with me. I don't really spend a lot of time with Carren because she has her own agenda to fulfill and I'm lost in my own world. Constantly. But when we do get together, its an explosion! (: Who says 'siblings were born for rivalry'? Sure, we bicker when we have rights to defend. But Carren hardly is irrational (: Most of the time, I have to admit, when we do fight, she's usually right ^^ '' I'm blessed to have Carren around (: But I only regret that I don't show it very often. Carren, if you're reading this, I LOVE YOU ((:
I heard that it really hurts to be 'wasted'; I'm referring to the hang-over on the next day. And that's exactly how I would describe the way I'm feeling a few moments ago. Mind you, I don't drink. But I had this terrible migraine, I've been sluggish. Its probably because I had been going to sleep at 12 midnight and beyond... But it had been something else inside of me that was dying besides my brain cells X)
But they say, you don't love something enough until it finally goes missing. And how true that is. If its possible, I took God for granted. God's heart was breaking, each night I went to sleep without paying attention to Him. I know because I could hear the breaking. But still I closed my eyes. I suppose it was a gentle prodding when God decided to send me a message.
It all happened when I lost my keys the other day. I can't remember exactly how it happened, but yes, they were misplaced. They're small and seemingly useless until you want to open a locked door with it. That's how I got frustrated when I tried to go out running today and I couldn't find them. In the end, Carren lent me hers so I could go running only to find out that my stamina was lacking. As trivial as this may sound, coupled with a migraine, lethargy and the 'roughage' from too many outings and too little sleep, it seemed like the whole world just fell on me. I asked God 'Why?!' and thought I could hear a sigh somewhere in the recesses of my mind - a sigh of disappointment.
My heartache-story has a happy ending though (: I forgot all about the keys during the run (partially because I was so tired) and instead went out with Carren to buy bubble-tea and even loaned Kung-Fu Panda to watch ((: It felt nice finally having time to get to know my own sister. Of course at 11 pm, the agitation returned when I finally realised I would need my keys to get out of the house tomorrow for the SATs. And what do you know! There my keys were in Carren's bedroom XDD
So here I am, finally re-united with my keys and more - I got re-acquainted with my sister, my inner peace and mostly, God (: AND I didn't even have to take coffee or an anti-acid XD My hangover has lifted (:
“I shall not want”: that’s supply.
“He makes me to lie down in green pastures”: that’s rest.
“He leads me beside still waters”: that’s refreshment.
“He restores my soul”: that’s healing.
“He guides me in the paths of righteousness”: that’s guidance.
“For his name’s sake”: that’s purpose.
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death”: that’s testing.
“I will fear no evil”: that’s protection.
“For you are with me”: that’s faithfulness.
“Your rod and your staff, they comfort me”: that’s discipline.
“You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies”: that’s hope.
“You anoint my head with oil”: that’s consecration.
“My cup overflows”: that’s abundance.
“Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life”: that’s blessing.
“And I will dwell in the house of the Lord”: that’s security.
“Forever”: that’s eternity.
Your disappointments do matter because the Shepherd of your soul will put it all together for you and has an eternity for you to revel in the marvel of what God has done. Our Father holds the threads of the design, and I’m so immensely grateful that He is the Grand Weaver.
Ravi Zecharias
Of Gunpowder, Treason and Plot.
I see no reason why the Gunpowder Treason,
should ever be forgot. - V
The Gunpowder Plot precipitated, no not from Guy Fawkes, but a bloke called Catesbury. In fact, Guy Fawkes was simply a military and demolitions expert who supplied the gunpowder. Part of the Catholic Restoration fighters in Protestant England in 1606 (15th Century), he was part of a 5-member conspiracy to blow up the Houses of Parliament (and with them King James I and all important members of the aristocracy who were engaged in the State Opening of Parliament). Fawkes is more widely-recognised for his connection to the Gunpowder Treason because he was caught in the act of igniting the fuse in most ways. But I think more importantly, he embodied the rallying cry of the oppressed Catholics in those times. Guy Fawkes, together with his co-conspirators and Robert Catesbury were hanged, drawn and quartered for their treason.
For us, their suffering and daring deed is only clear to us in our textbooks and Wikipedia. But for those in 1606, for those standing at Old Palace Yard in Westminster, for those for whom Catesbury, Fawkes and the other conspirators chose to make a stand, I'm sure their deaths meant a whole lot more.
Who says History can't teach us anything? For some, The Gunpowder Plot taught us to re-examine our governing authority and make a courageous stand for something when it is clearly not right, even as it leads to ultimate consequences. For others, the Gunpowder Plot taught them to be wary of our governing passions and desires and to, although be discerning, also to give lee-way to our Authority. And for our leaders, the Gunpowder Plot taught them the true Power of the people - there is a difference between oppression and leadership.
For me? The Gunpowder Plot is a lovely bed-time story and I am still amazed at the courage these men managed to muster up, because of their desire to see their own kind live without fear or restriction. It is also a reminder of how foolish humans can be... The situation in 15th-century England mirrors what is happening today in Northern Ireland - where Catholics and Protestants are constantly at each others' necks; although ultimately, (you have to admit) we both serve the same God. But that is why we live today; we live to learn from our mistakes and build a future with that new knowledge - to make something out of nothing.
Sigh.
The Gunpowder Treason and Plot,
I can think of no reason
Why the Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot.
Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes, t'was his intent
To blow up the King and Parli'ment.
Three-score barrels of powder below
To prove old England's overthrow;
By God's providence he was catch'd
With a dark lantern and burning match.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, let the bells ring.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, God save the King!
But ANYWHO (: Now I will commit myself to reading all about Wesleyan and finishing those dreaded essays.
Bond: Bond, James Bond. -poots-
Villian: -disgusted face-
Bond: Whoops.
Hahahaha. I can NOT imagine that happening to everyone's favourite 'normal' superhero.
I had the utmost pleasure of being able to sit down properly and read a good book today (: Of course, with James Bond blasting over my Dad's plasma TV. I read 'Hidden Evidence'; this amazing book on Forensic studies. And with it, read up on a few criminal masterminds like Michel Eyraud and Peter Sutcliffe. How morbid of me XD
But I what I really enjoyed for finally being able to play with Campbell for more than 5 minutes and, noticing the color of the sky (:
My KIV list is dwindling X)
Church was awesome today (: I'm sorry we were late. Again. But at least we didn't totally miss worship like last weekend! I'm still very sorry... I will try to get the family to go out earlier next time... But Thank you God for such an anointed Sister Durant who came to speak to us today (: I'm glad that you granted her, and her husband Kelvin, journey mercy and grace on their way to Singapore and do pray that you will guide them and protect them on their future mission trips. (They said, Bangkok, USA and then to Brazil, if I can still remember correctly. Then again, You already do know where they're going even before they know, so (: yeah. )
I finally understand what it means to worship in spirit and in truth today. Even though it is cliched, I've come to understand the true value of the teaching that we need to have both our physical bodies and our minds present when we come into your presence. That is why in Luke 5:17, the Pharisees were there when Jesus was preaching but they did not receive any healing or enlightenment - it was because although they were physically present, their minds and hearts were far away. It reminds me of the song that goes, "your mouth fills up with singing, but your heart seems faraway..." and also reminded me that I have, too, committed that sin before a few times, and a few times too many.
In Mark 3:7, as Jesus was preaching at the edge of the water, throngs of people came to get close to Him. They so desired to receive and had so much faith in Jesus that they thronged on them, pushed each other and even pressed up against Him just to have one touch of His hair or linen. That is true thirst, Sister Durant said.
"These people honor me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me.
They worship me in vain;
their tesachings are but rules tuaght by men"
Exodus 24:12
"...Come up to Me on the mountain, Moses, and be there..."
Oh LORD, how terrifying it is to think that maybe sixty percent of the time I've spent in worship and prayer have been in vain... I'm sorry LORD, that sometimes my heart is wandering far away even as I pretend to be focused on You.
Forgive me, oh God and open up my spiritual eyes... that I may truly see once and for all how to praise you and be in your presence in a proper manner. LORD, I want to have a personal connection with You when I close my eyes - to touch You as much as You've have longed to touch each and every one of us. I want to come into Your presence next time, LORD and really BE there. Dear Father, please help me to be focused on You even in my daily chores. Correct me and forgive me if I have been wrong, O God. Help me to worship You with all of me, from the deepest recessess of my heart, in Spirit and in TRUTH.
"Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshippers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshippers the Father seeks."
Amen (:
Love,
Sharyl
THE JASMINE PLANT IN OUR GARDEN IS IN FULL BLOOM! Oh glorious day (: I was just watching videos on Youtube and letting my mind wander when my Mom announced the jasmine plant we have just sprouted flowers all over. True enough, when I went to look at it myself, the entire 6-feet-tall column of green was bursting with white glory and a heavenly smell only your own nose can describe to you. Even in the dead of night, the bright white petals shone through like little fallen stars caught by the leaves and branches. I reached out to pluck a few for my room, but the fragile beauties fell to bits in my rough touch. Literally T___T
It was a gift from heaven (:
And it couldn't have been more timely (: I was feeling a little hung-over from all the freedom and going-out-escapades. And not to mention, a cockroach had flown into my room and took a dump on my bed, which I had to wash myself. (actually, the washing machine did it, but you get the idea) AND I keep getting mosquito bites all over...
-Koff-
Ah, but the sweet scent made me forget all of that (: So I closed my tired eyes, braced myself and took in one full whiff of it... Jasmine in all its glory ((: I wish technology could capture smells... For if you took a personal whiff yourself, you'd agree, it was Heaven-sent too.
Definition: [JASMINE]
Since I was of eighteen years,
and knew Jesus was coming back again,
I had my suitcases all packed up.
And I'd wait through starlight, dust and pouring rain.
I lived my life like he told me,
Like tomorrow would be my very last.
The suitcases remained untouched,
as sixty years of blessings swiftly went past.
Every night, I'd look to the sky and wonder.
"Is He coming today?"
I thought of all He had given me,
though my faith was slipping away.
I looked at the suitcases on the old porch,
and thought, "I guess its time to give them"
But just as I started to unpack,
there stood Jesus, God's precious lamb.
"Leave the suitcases at the porch,
We've both waited long enough."
"Our journey on the route of Life is through,
and I know you've had it rough."
"I'm so proud of you, my little big girl,"
He said as His smile shone.
"I saw how you lived free and waited diligently...
... now I'm here to take you home."
